Sleep Training, Post 3

 Today was pretty brutal so I'll insert some cute pictures here. 

One year ago: First Snowman for Max

Out for a walk in the Springs.  Kind of enjoying this California winter this year!

 Max and Cole, ages 2 and 4 months

Max at the local cafe.  He is trying to be a "grown up".  

Day 2, Night 3:

So, Cole slept through the night on Night 2, but woke up around 5:17am.  David got up to put him back to sleep but the little booger only slept for 20 minutes longer.  So at 5:37am, we were up again.  He seems to have this down.  His circadian rhythm is pretty consistent.  I was super tired from staying up too late the night before, so I made mistake #1.  I let Cole into our bed to snooze.  It was clear he didn't want to snooze, even though I could have been so good at it, so I finally got up with him around 6am.  Max slept until 7:45.  Again, it's clear Max needs the sleep. 

Cole took a great nap in the morning for about 2 hours but just screamed and cried off and on during nap #2, never actually taking that nap.  Poor Max was out of patience with him and finally nodded off after I got Cole out of there. Mistake #2:  No afternoon nap for Cole.

David promised Max he'd take him to the car showroom at a dealership he was working with, so with that activity, we got home later than we should have.  Mistake #3:  Bedtime was pushed back to 7:30pm!  I can't believe I let this happen.  We're off-track after only 2 days.  With the late bedtime though, both boys went right to sleep and slept the whole night. 

Pop Quiz.  Cole was ready to rise and shine at: a) 5:40am, b) 7:45am, or c) 6:22am.  If you guessed a, you are right!  Fortunately for me, I convinced David to take over if Cole woke up before 6:00am. 

Perhaps I should see this as a positive.  Cole has increased his sleeping time by the initial 15 minutes, and then 3-4 minutes every night since.  And I realized after sleeping in, that a very early start to my day is way better for me.  I can actually try to prep for my day instead of feeling like I'm being pulled through it.

Day 3:  Cole took his first nap around 8am, but slept just under an hour.  The boys played hard at the park just before lunch and were both ready to sleep at 1:30pm.  As of 3:20pm, they are both still sleeping!  I will be getting them up in 10 minutes to get out the door for a showing of our new rental.  Hoping this sets us up for a much better evening tonight.

I know these posts have been super boring.  If I could add pictures, I would.  Unfortunately, the  iphoto app is missing from my computer.  A very smart person at Apple removed it in order to move our photo albums onto an external hard drive for space purposes but never set up a new one for me.  And I'm not that smart when it comes to computers.   More photos from David's computer soon. 

Sleep Training, Post 2

Night One, Day One:

[This post is a follow up of yesterday's post, documenting our experience with a new sleep training/shared bedroom technique for the boys.  If you desire to catch up, please go back to this post.]

So, as I dared to predict last night, the boys did stay asleep the whole night.  Can I get a whoop whoop?  I, on the other hand, woke up at 1:19am because it's about the time Cole wakes up to scream.  All in all, Cole managed to sleep about 15 minutes later than usual (5:34am to be exact) which pushed him right into that timeframe requiring me to get up, put a smile on my face, and sing "Good morning" as I got him out of bed.  (darn!)  David and Max rolled over and went back to bed, lucky ducks! Until 7:15am!  So, the earlier bedtime was great for Max, who obviously needs more sleep.  I'm hoping it also changes things for Cole, too, after a few more nights.  I did appreciate having some quiet time to work out and do my daily mass readings while Cole ate breakfast, though, so I can't complain too much.

Today, because of the early morning, Cole required a much earlier nap.  I tried to push it off until 8am, at least, but he was a mess and I gave in at 7:45am.  His normal morning nap is 10am.  He woke up about an hour later, but was crying and seemed like he woke up too early.  We got out of the house for errands and I got the boys back home for a nap around 1:30pm, which is pretty on target for us.  This is later than the recommended time on Mommy Shorts, but her baby was 9 months old at the time of sleep training, so I'm thinking I will stick to our normal afternoon routine here and put them both down to nap at the same time, just like bedtime.  They woke up together, and very happy, at 3:45pm.  This is a first in a very, very long time for Max.  He normally sleeps until 4pm or later, and wakes up crying.  He is always resistant to get up and it usually takes me a full 30 minutes to get him into a decent mood.  So, this was awesome.  Again, Max is obviously the one winning with this new routine.
On a side note, I did realize while out running errands, that Cole is teething.  I'm guessing this will affect our results a bit as it is definitely making him cranky.  At his age though, his teeth are coming in one right after the other, so again, I need to just push through.

Night 2:

I was on my own tonight since David had a meeting, but I wanted to try to stay really consistent through this whole process.  After a quick walk to the store, I offered the boys dinner at 5pm and convinced them to take a bath with a new bath melt from Lush.   Let's be honest, it doesn't take much convincing with these two.  Thank goodness for that, because Cole downed 3 servings of black beans and was going in the tub, no matter what. 

We went through bath and pajamas really well, but Max started to push back with tooth brushing, and even with reading books.  He seemed to catch on to what we were doing.  He wanted the special treatment:  reading books downstairs with Mom and Dad after Cole's bedtime.   He cried and refused bedtime.  Enter: David.  Thought this might make matters worse, but the two of us finally got them both in bed.  Unfortunately, it wasn't until 7pm.  At 7:30pm, Max needed to use the bathroom.  And since then, Cole has been restless off and on.  Max is finally asleep at 8:30pm.  Grrr.

I'm so not giving up.  I firmly resolve to keep Max and Cole on track at least for 2-3 more nights, even if it totally messes up plans.  With Max especially, we can't give an inch.  It's important for him to think this is the way it's going to be from now on.  Last night I told him he was Cole's coach and needed to show his little brother how to go to bed.  I think I need to converse with Max again and get him on board.

I'll have tonight's results tomorrow, so check back if you are interested.  'Nighty night! 

Sleep Training, Round 468...

Jan 20, 2015

Okay, so Max is 3 and has been sleeping through the night since he was 13 weeks old.  As a first-time Momma who read all the books, you can imagine that I thought I was such rockstar....until baby Cole came along.  Cole, on the other hand, has only slept a full night maybe 2 dozen times in his lifetime and it's probably all my fault. Well, maybe mostly my fault and partially that he is just a very persistent little boy who likes to scream at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get his way. 

We used the BabyWise book for both boys.  It was much easier for Max, but so far, so is everything else.  He's just going to be that kid.  Cole had reflux and therefore nothing seemed to work.  So, in sleep training, I tried the Sleep Whisperer method, which he hated, and Cry It Out (CIO) which is... pretty much the last option. And after the initial torture (for us and him) which lasted 47 minutes the first night and spanned 4 nights, it worked, for awhile. 

Rationalization #1.  We didn't want to wake up Max.
Initially, when trying to sleep train a newborn, you worry about the crying waking up your toddler.  In retrospect, Max doesn't hear anything once he's asleep.  You could literally drive a firetruck through his room and he wouldn't budge.  So, that concern was totally unnecessary.  If I could rewind, we would have started this process a LONG time ago.  

Rationalization #2.  The environment is always changing.
For Max, this was never an issue.  Again, he is our easy kid.  But for Cole, the moves from city to city, house to house seem to affect him more.  Maybe I'm making a bigger thing out of this than it is, because both are really adaptable considering how much things change with our lifestyle.  

Rationalization #3.  Guests/visitors.
We had a great start to a full night sleep in Salt Lake City.  When we moved to Seattle, (Cole was 9 months old) we immediately visited Wisconsin.  Then as soon as we returned, it seemed like we had family or friends in town almost the entire summer.  (Note: I love visitors, this should have spurred me on to make a change, not have been my excuse to continue the craziness.)  Cole was constantly being shifted from his room and crib to our room and pack n play.  We were again worried that his crying would wake up said guests and big brother next door.  Silly.  And, because we were often sharing space, Cole would wake up and demand to be nursed because he knew I was right there.  So much for weaning. 

Enough is enough. 

I've always been a fan of shared bedrooms for siblings.  I grew up as the oldest of 5 children, so there really wasn't an alternative, but even for smaller broods, I think it's a great learning and growing experience.  Children need to bond with siblings just like they do with their parents.  Of course, there is the learning to share and deal with conflict aspects that are also appealing. And even better, now that we are renting in California, saving a little dough on one less bedroom is also a perk!

So after our move from Portland this Fall (where, by the way, we had more than ample space on several levels of a really huge rental home and again, where I worried about waking up Max and guests...I digress), we stayed with David's parents.   When his brother and family arrived, we were forced to share a bedroom with our kids so they could stay in the other room with theirs.  I didn't mind.  It was the perfect introduction to a shared bedroom that I'd been looking for.  We decided to set up Cole's crib in Max's room as soon as we arrived at our new home in San Jose.  Since then, I've been putting them down for an afternoon nap at the same time and thought I might just be lucky that it worked right from Day One with very few hiccups.
At bedtime, however, Cole is always ready for bed an hour before Max.  While Cole will cry and point to his crib when he's tired, Max will procrastinate and be hyper or naughty as long as you let him.  So, we have let Max stay up a little longer to let Cole fall asleep and then go through the bedtime ritual with Max later.  This would often drag out til 8pm or even 9pm!  Way too late for our young toddler.  I was on fumes by then and staying up later only to allow myself "quiet time" after the kids' bedtimes.  But it was fruitless because I could expect 1-2 night wakings and a 5:15am wake up call.

Fast forward to now.  I was telling my sister about my issues with bedtime and Cole still not sleeping through the night.  The next morning, she forwards me a link via text to Mommy Shorts.  I will link to sleep training right here in case anyone else is interested in the 5 posts on her experience and referral to her coach.

I started using a few techniques the last few days because I wasn't able to adhere to the early bedtime right away.  Guess what?!  They are working.  So tonight, we went all in.  If you don't want to read the whole strategy Mommy Shorts uses, it's basically this:  a much earlier bedtime, ie. Start the routine around 6pm; Bedtime by 6:30pm (which is perfect for Cole anyway); Go in to any crying episodes after 10 minutes, using a simple back-to-bed technique; Then walk out. The end. 

It felt really weird, but I cooked dinner at 4:15pm and the boys sat down to eat by 4:45pm.  Dinner was over by 5:15pm and they were both in the bathtub by 5:30pm.   We completed the entire bedtime routine (pajamas, book reading, tooth brushing, prayers and bedtime songs) by 6:30.  Cole was crying and ready to be put down by then, but I waited to put him in bed until Max got in bed because I was really trying to stick to the advice of putting them to bed at exactly the same time.  So, after a short delay when Max needed to find Ducky and cried because he wanted to go downstairs and play, they were both in bed by 6:38pm.  There was a a little crying from Cole at 7pm when Max called out to use the bathroom.  But after Max was done, I laid Cole back down, put his paci in, and rubbed his cheek with his blanket.  I walked out and he was fast asleep.  I looked in at 7:15pm and they were both sleeping!  Not surprising for Cole, but 45 minutes early for Max!  Nice!

Obviously, the night isn't really underway at only 7:37pm as I'm writing this post, but I'm daring to say, our work is done for the night.  Let's see if Cole sleeps the whole night and wakes up later, which is the goal.  According the sleep coach on Mommy Shorts, I need to allow them to wake up naturally anytime between 5:30am and 7:30am and go in to start the morning with a smile, no matter what time it is.  I prefer 7am, but who wouldn't.  Let's see what happens...