Follow up: The Token Economy

As promised, here is the incentive project I was working on for Max to encourage listening, helping, and good behaviors. 

I found these two glass jars in the dollar bins at Target.  I thought they were pretty cute for $3 apiece. 

The peel and stick labels are chalkboard stickers from the stationary aisle. 

And the tokens that we use are little poms that I also found in the dollar bin.

Here is how it works: 
Max earns one pom for each chore he completes from the chore chart.  He can also earn poms for listening to given instructions, helping me with taking out garbage, setting the table, or with laundry, etc.  With the chore chart alone, he has the opportunity to earn 12 poms each day, plus the additional tokens he can earn for listening and helping.  Max enjoys moving the completed chores to the Done side, and the praise he earns when completing a chore reveals a star is enough to keep him motivated for awhile. 

At the end of the day, we count his stars for completed chores and he gets to add poms to his jar for each of his earned stars.  I keep a running tally of his stars so we can see how close he is to earning his rewards. 

Since he is young and I need to keep him interested, for each 10 poms, Max can earn a small toy or treat.  After 30 poms, he earned a nightlight.  He will continue to earn small, short-term "prizes" to keep his interest and the larger items are usually things he needs or we would do for fun anyway, like going for ice cream or Jamba Juice, a new pair of socks, an outside toy, etc.  Even though he could possibly earn a small toy every day, the most he's consistently reached is 9.  I think the praise that comes with earning each pom or star on the chart is working well for us.  And all I need to do is remind him of losing a pom and it is usually enough to keep him in line. Most days.






I'm hoping that this system will get me away from feeling like I'm constantly nagging or reminding him to do things.  I think it helps to solidify the expectations in our family and gives Max a role to play in making it run.  I also love that it has helped us to be inspirational rather than punitive.  I've noticed that the time outs, although they do still happen, are reducing in number.  So far, so good. 

Max enjoying an orange shake (his pick) at Iceberg in SLC.

Max playing "Boo" with Cole

Yay Utah!

I thought I'd share some moments from our first family relocation road trip.  In years past, David would insist on flying Max and I to our next destination.  Usually, I reluctantly agree.  This time, I really wanted to make sure we did this together, especially if hopscotching across the country will be our lifestyle for the next 2 years.  They are young, but I think it's a good learning experience for Max and Cole.  The alternative, which is flying with two little ones on my own, is really stressful.  But more than anything, as a wife and mother, I worry about getting us all there safely.  Thanks to God and St. Christopher, our trip was uneventful. 

We left our beautiful home in Colorado Springs on Saturday, April 5th.

Onward!

Good Bye Rockbrook Lane!

And after a stop at our friends' home to let Max and Tino run off some energy and play together one last time for awhile...

Max napping with Jemma, aka Meow

We headed north and west to Wyoming. We stopped around midnight near Rock Springs.

Near Rock Springs, WY

Lunch break near Evanston, WY

The Chinese Railroad Memorial in Evanston

Max's reaction when we crossed the Utah state line

Just after this was when things started getting a bit rough. 

Train in canyon north of Park City

I remember road trips as a kid with my family.  In our seven passenger van, there were 5 kids, one brave babysitter and my parents.  Yeah, you do the math.  My Mom would fill an under-bed storage bin with snacks and pb&j sandwiches.  This was pre-DVD player days.  The entertainment was a peg board geometry game that my Dad made with bolts and rubber bands.  We played "I Spy" and kept a list of how many state license plates we could find.  And there was certainly bickering about who was infringing on who's space and who's turn it was to sit next to the (only) sliding door. Remember that nice little walkway between the bench seat and the door?  Prime real estate!

And our move from Colorado Springs to Salt Lake?  Well, there were no DVD players in the car for this trip either, but I admit, at one point I remember telling David that we needed one.  It wasn't easy, but I still maintain that I feel more comfortable traveling together.  The boys did really well despite the length of time and their ages.  I think with a little more preparation on my part, I can try to ensure the ride goes a bit smoother next time.   

Max in front of our new digs in SLC

Strolling in the park behind our house

Growing pains

So, life has taken us for a ride lately.  It seems it's all I can do to keep up with two kids.  And although I know I've surpassed the "survival mode" that you enter when you bring home a newborn, I still feel as though I'm only keeping up and never getting ahead.  I'm certainly not about to start getting into the Super Mommy debate, but seriously, how do some people do it?!

Cole will be 7 months next week, and he has made tremendous strides.  Not only in the fun developmental things, like rolling, sitting up, babbling, etc, but in his sleep patterns, too!  Yeah!  I will never forget the days of chronic 30 minute naps, but they are starting to fade.  I can now spend a good hour or more alone during the day, which is fantastic.  I should truly take a hint and take a nap, but I don't.  I enjoy attempting to get things done and keeping up with this blog is one of the things I've had to let slip, along with exercise, laundry, and cooking!  He is such a fun age right now and it's amazing to watch his personality really start to emerge.  Time is really flying. 

Max is 2.  Do I need to say more?  Some days that translates to "ugh."  And some days it's so great.  His vocabulary is awesome.  He stuns me at least once a day with his ability to put concepts and words together.  Max also has a very sweet disposition.  He absolutely adores Cole and loves to be my helper. My heart soars when I watch him do things to make Cole laugh or go in to hold Cole's hand through the crib slats if he cries and I can't get there right away.  And then there are those days when my blood pressure skyrockets and my patience is unraveling.

I know that transitions are hard.  Especially big ones like moving from Colorado Springs to Salt Lake City.  Max has watched most of his large belongings get sold off.  He has tolerated it really well - better than I would imagine any kid doing.  We just told him that we were sharing some of our favorite things with others who needed them.  He gets sharing very well.  He actually got excited when we explained a new house, near a new mountain, picking out a new bed, etc.  But, that's a big change coupled with a loooong drive.  So, despite being exciting, it has caused some oppositional behavior.  I realize that this is just his need to exert some control over the situation, but man, is it ever tiring.

So, what does a mother do?  Google, of course.  And I came up with a fun craft project for me and a reward system for Max.  A friend of mine was making a chore chart for her son and offered to create one for Max.

I love this idea for teaching responsibility and am hoping to expand upon it using a token economy for good behavior.  After the last few days, I want to encourage and use incentives instead of bribing or depriving.  I know he needs some time to adjust, but perhaps this will help turn defiance into harmony.  I'll post pics of my completed project.  No really, I will this time.

Parenting is a whole new kind of education.  Not unlike school or work, there are challenges and areas for improvement on a daily basis.  Being in charge of a toddler, teaching him to listen and respect, assert himself at the right times and slow down and be careful at other times is probably one of the hardest things I'm learning to do.  Because of course, all of this happens concurrently with your everyday responsibilities of clothing, feeding, and trying to diaper and/or potty train your children.  I've come to realize that some of the things I struggled with as a child, adolescent and adult, have come back to me in parenting my own kids.  It's such a blessing to have the chance to correct or learn to manage the things that weren't my strengths.  I guess you kind of have to.  So, we're all growing.